What Discipline?

Discipline

Recently saw the quote above and got a tiny bit depressed….

I recently realised that I am very disciplined with my work (I’m the all in kind of girl) but not so much with my personal or spiritual life. My very deep excuse is that I am afraid of myself. I am legit afraid of my God-given potential, what I can do and be and so choose to focus on what I can control and downplay what I cannot, even if it is likely to be more rewarding and fulfilling

*waits for the raised hand – hmmmm-blessed-stank-face from the congregation*

I want to build my empire, economic freedom in my lifetime and for the generations coming, but it is much easier (read secure and safe) churning out work for a good solid job. Now don’t read job = unfulfilling and no I don’t hate my job but I must ask if my love for my job is driven by served time, comfort, being good at it or true passion? ANYWAYS, as I was saying…

An example; I want to sleep more, eat better and exercise often, but, I also need to pause or escape my hectic life (so I say to myself). Enter Netflix – which I have deactivated for the 3rd time -, Hallmark, the cinema and my faithful bed! Oh and man do I need to do my personal admin on time! SARS (tax services in South Africa) knows my work; it usually involves a call at 23h45 on returns day asking for my password! Let me not mention that I drove with an expired licence for 6 months! In my defense I didn’t know they actually expired, bless the soul of the policeman who explained this to me while giving me a ticket

Side note: Man am I painting a bad picture of myself here. Do not worry prospective husband or friend, this lack of discipline does not extend to others. I prioritise getting things done….for others. This is not a point to celebrate as it points to a brokenness more than a servant heart! More on that in another post

So I thought to myself that missing in my life is consistency or discipline.  See I understand self investment when referring to the importance of reading and building knowledge, but not so much when it comes to  writing a blog or investing the time to actually build my empire. In fact, in a rough RCA (root cause analysis) I found that 3 things eat away at  or cripple MY self-discipline or ability to just get it done:

  1. Fear
  2. Insecurity – lacking self belief
  3. Impatience

Side note: Note how I left our laziness. Like anger, I think laziness and procrastination are secondary states or rather, an outcome of something else.

fear

FEAR: We have talked about this. Someone recently said fear is the root of all disobedience *pause moment to take that in*. We hate the unknown so we avoid trying and prefer our comfort zone. By the way, the comfort zone needn’t be equal to #level in life. Someone’s comfort zone can be being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company…it doesn’t mean they are not afraid and are disciplined with what actually makes them happy

insecurity

INSECURITY:  I reckon this is a crippling element in a lot of our lives. Insecurity locks onto words uttered, a narrative, circumstance, history or belief and measures what needs to be done against that. So if you hear enough that you can’t, your starting point for everything is “I can’t” which then affects what you believe you can do or even how you do it. This self-doubt is inward looking and projects from what it sees. Countless times I have let this stop me from doing anything, not anymore.

impatience

IMPATIENCE : Man is it hard to wait. Wait out the process, journey, relationship, building. Instant gratification is in our generations’ DNA. Often I wonder what causes this…are we afraid it won’t happen? Is it a case of “comparison kills” in our social media driven society? Is that what made our parents better at this particular fruit of the spirit? I know, mentally, that this is a key to better discipline/consistency but I haven’t mastered translating it into action. YET.

So here’s what I plan to focus on (Disclaimer: I did not read a book for this, pure opinion folks, so do not book bash me)

PRIORITISING –  Perhaps we should have mentioned this as a crippling effect. I admire people who are really good at one thing and invest in that with everything they have. Being a jack of all trades is overrated. I want to be really good at one thing and use it as a base to build a disciplined spirit which will translate into discipline in my personal life. I have a friend who did this and placed health at the top of her priorities. She announced this and proceeded to shape her entire life around maintaining that priority. So in a toss-up between work and health, she chooses the latter. Her world has had to adjust to this – from work to friends and she is happier as a human and seeing results. In my inspired state I start thinking, what if I could prioritise xyz and then manoeuver everything else around that? There is a price to pay and the ability to choose what is important is a discipline in its own right and so a good starting point on this journey

ESTABLISHING ACCOUNTABILITY –  I’ve had a personal trainer, teachers, senior church leaders, all types of leaders before but I cannot shake the belief that following instructions and accountability are not the same. I read on google that accountability is answerability, blameworthiness, liability, and the expectation of account-giving. I just wonder if I give account for my life to anyone but God? As I ponder on this, I do know that disciplined people are accountable…to someone or something. Jesus Himself was accountable. Linked to this is;

ASKING FOR HELP – I’m an avid learner…when I control the curriculum. Asking for help requires vulnerability, which is a strength, not a weakness so I have been told *I refuse to roll my eyes*. Often I think I learnt this late as I have been robbed of honest relationships…but man I thank God that there have been relentless people in my life who have helped me even when I stubbornly believed I could do it on my own. So while blushing and even knowing I can do the task myself, albeit in double the time, I will not deny myself the joy of a helping hand and ask for help. Again, being a jack of all trades is overrated

It took a lot of discipline to write this blog entry and I would love to hear thoughts on this particular topic

Bye for now,

The Extrovert