This my new jam!

Dancing Lady

I’ve been majorly inspired these past few days and thought to myself why not share a new song God inspired in me

Some background;

“Alive” speaks of the freedom journey I have and am on with God. God has shown me areas of my life where I was/am bound and He has and is setting me free. In fact I believe I am mourning my previous self when I have moments of utter confusion as I know I can’t go back to the death that comes from being bound…and so I am learning to be Alive in my Freedom.

God is beyond a saviour, He is a transformer who came to give life and it in abundance. He can still breathe life into any dead thing, including dead vision and dreams…I’m a miracle I tell you…so I Praaaaaiiiiseeee Him for Mercy!

Hope you enjoy my new jam (version 120 and 121!!). Lyrics below. Please do tell me what you think but NO JUDGEMENT on my voice/tone as I am not anointed as a singer and my throat was sore #NotAnExcuse.

Side note: Kirk Franklin, Mali Music, John McReynolds, Dr Tumi…you can make it better and you knows it! Imagine a choir on that Bridge! Anyhooooo

#Alive #Memoirs #Spiritual  #Loner


Relentless is your love

You see right through my fight, it’s your love

Pride keeping me away

Yet you still wait me out

‘Cos you know better, so much better


God You came and gave me life

You held me in Your arms so I could survive

Still you stay(ed) with me so I can thrive

Now I know  You’d do anything to keep me alive



Still breathing, I’m a miracle

Free from strive and the cycle of lies

Chained to your love, your grace and mercy

I see I am found, bound to your love


(Bridge x2)

Though I still fall, make mistakes, I thank God I’m made alive

It don’t make sense, this grace thing, but I’m blessed to be alive

So, I Praise Him for Mercy

I Praise Him for Life

I Praise Him for Freedom

For He has made me Alive


(Chorus x 2)




Let’s talk about TRUST baby!

Recently God asked a question that burned so much that I walked away from his presence to basically avoid it. Fam I saw flames as He asked me the below:


With a sinking feeling I knew that since I didn’t stand up and holler “Yaaaassss” or “YERS”, I could only settle at  a whimpering ‘No’. I had to come to the full realisation that perhaps I didn’t trust God as much as I thought I did. What if I was self- sufficient or self-dependent and it made it hard for me to trust a God I couldn’t give credit to.

What if half of what I started or got into was simply a back-up plan for God, a “just-in-case” measure for a God I don’t quite trust? What if I have been taught so much that everything with God is hard, full of life lessons and uphill so he can, you know, “build character” and so I became apt at finding the loophole in this ‘contract’ I signed when I accepted Christ as my saviour. This loophole usually involves a quick fix within the framework of God’s work so I can, you know, see some progress for goodness sakes.

Yes, I too shake my head at my reasoning. No, I refuse to self-condemn, I am a kid under grace.

In comes the word and from a verse we so love;

Proverbs 3: 5 – 11

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”;

It does not stop there. The rest of the verses proceeds to actually tell us the how.

  1. “In all your ways SUBMIT TO HIM, and He will make your paths straight”
  2. DO NOT BE WISE IN YOUR OWN EYES; FEAR THE LORD and SHUN EVIL, This will bring health to your bones.”
  3. HONOUR THE LORD WITH YOUR WEALTH, WITH THE FIRSTFRUITS of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

Basically, what God is trying to tell me and you is that to trust Him we should submit, be humble and give. Now don’t shoot me for oversimplfiying, this is the word fam and often we believe God says something, goes in hiding and then get’s frustrated that we can’t find Him or figure Him out in an epic game of hide and seek. This is not true. God is an advocate for understanding, He even says in all your hoarding/getting, get understanding. Seek and you shall find.

Often God will declare we are something, not so we can puff our chests at how bad-ass we are, but rather so He can reveal another dimension of the relationship He hopes to have with us.

You as a disciple makes Him a teacher. Oh disciple; when was the last time you submitted your assignment/plan to your teacher? Man, even me I want to skip grades of life and get the reward for most improved student with unmarked papers. Really!? Can the student know more than the teacher? Yes, on earth, but not with this one. This teacher also happens to be your King, creator and dare I say parent?

You as a child of God, makes Him a parent; when is the last time you had childlike trust in what Your Father said He would do?

Will you now point at the times God said No, the times He didn’t do what you wanted?Tell me something, when your parents said no to you, did you disown them as parents after you threw your tantrum?  Did you back up your parents when you asked for something? Fam, I used to ask my dad to bring back Lays chips when he got back from work. I did not then proceed to go and collect cents from neighbours, telephone booths and perhaps a wallet or two (one day I will tell you about my thieving days)  so that I could buy Mamas (popcorn brand in SA) or Nik Naks (you haven’t lived if you havent finished a big packet of these) JUST IN CASE my dad didn’t come back with chips. There is a gullible/naive blind trust that a child has towards their parent, let’s call it dependency, that is probably endearing to God and WEAK to us. Why? Is a child stupid for trusting so much? I mean they don’t know the difference between right and wrong right!

Could it be that God wanted us to balance the innocent dependent attitude of a child with the authority expected from a son while having access to our deepest secrets and desires as a friend? Could it be that what we call the loss of innocence, naivity, gullibleness is actually a growing pride in what we can do or know. Hey, they say experience is the greatest teacher and I actually believe that but now under the premise that “what God cannot teach us through instruction, he does through experience”- Dr. Dharius Daniels. Perhaps then the greatest teacher is instruction, we just suck at listening…

This is a thought built to leave many open questions, one of which is;

Why do we back up God?

Image result for back up plan


What we invest in reveals our trust. When you invest in the lottery, you perhaps trust karma, chance, luck. When you invest in your children, you trust your genes…okay you are probably also PRAYING and trusting they are worth the investment in the form of them becoming upstanding citizens, the kind that will also look after you someday. When you invest in a savings account, stocks etc, you trust the markets, the banking system…all of this has a proven track record right? Fam. We have little to no back up for this stuff…so why do we back up God?

Side note disclaimer for the clever cat that will read what I am not saying: God doesn’t mind investments, He just wants to be first.

Man, I am challenged to trust God and am passing that on to you so we can all be in the flames together.  I am challenged to lift my game just a little and see the good stuff mentioned above manifest. Up to now, with lowish trust levels I am where I am. Imagine, just imagine…what could happen if I lost one of my “just in cases” for God and saw what God can do? Fam I gave my bank a chance, they changed their brand without telling me but I still believe! God hasn’t ever changed.

What are your #trustlevels?

– The Spiritual